Category Archives: how to please a woman

arousal and desire, delayed ejaculation and its cure, how to please a woman

Tantric and Taoist Techniques of Making Love

It’s a fact that most men have fairly limited sexual technique. Indeed, the common thrusting motion which most men employ during intercourse will only stimulate a small area of the woman’s vagina.

This is where a new technique which we can literally call “screwing” comes into play. This is a movement of the hips that can truly pleasure both the man and his partner, and it literally involves a circular motion of the penis inside the vagina rather than backwards and forwards thrusting motion.

When you first try this, you’re likely to find that the rotations of the pelvic area originate from your hips or the pelvic bone itself. However, what you’re actually aiming for his rotation of the sacrum.

You can identify the sacrum by putting one hand on your sacrum and one hand on your cube it go, and then trying to rotate in a spiral both clockwise and anticlockwise. You can also try tilting your penis upwards as you push the base of your sacrum forward and tilting your penis down as you push your sacrum backward.

Once you’ve identified the bones and movement necessary to spiral, you should be able to really screw. It’s a very popular technique with most women, apparently; as indeed, are a variety of other movements which are rarely employed.

Indeed, Taoist sexual philosophy describes nine different kinds of thrusting, which is employed carefully can offer the woman a variety of depth, erection and speed of penile movement inside vagina. For example, you can hover outside the vagina and then thrust rapidly in; you can use deep thrusts and shallow strokes; you can rise and plunge suddenly and irregularly; and so on.

Now what about the vexed question of ejaculation control? The fact is, as you may have seen if you haven’t watched some of the more enlightened erotica available on the Internet, that women often reach orgasm through hard and fast vaginal thrusting, and that this experience can be very intense and satisfying for them. The problem, of course, as you being a man will well know, is that deep and fast thrusting tends to make a man ejaculate very quickly.

Of course you can always pull out and use your fingers and tongue, but of course it’s better for her and more pleasurable for you to be able to take a woman all the way to orgasm through penile thrusting. You certainly need a high level of ejaculation control: you also need to be able to monitor your increasing arousal rate. Picture from https://sensualblissvoyager (exploration of the Sacred & Conscious including sexuality)

Successful sex, successful lovemaking, requires the man start off with slow thrusts or spirals of his penis in her vagina, and move faster and faster as time goes on, incorporating a spontaneous series of changes in depth, speed and direction as he moves inside his partner. To ask the average man to maintain ejaculatory control whilst employing such techniques is a big ask, but there are techniques that you can use derived from Tantric sexual practices which should enable you to last longer.

The first of these is called the big draw. This is a technique in which you move energy up from the genital region along the spine, and circulate it around the body. You can imagine this as the energy that would normally shoot out from your penis, moving up your body instead.

You simply squeeze your PC muscles and then progressively pump the muscles of your buttocks to draw blood away from the genitals. This decreases your arousal, and at same time you draw the energy away from the genital area by imagining a series of nervous energy and sensations traveling up your spine into your brain.

This should remove the blood and energy from the genital muscles so they cannot involuntarily ejaculate. It’s a powerful practice, and you need to ensure that you follow some safety tips: if you move sexual energy up towards the brain too rapidly, there can be problems in mental overactivity, so you need to be able to bring it down again. The Kundalini energy needs to be under your control. It’s also important to remember that the sexual energy that you circulate through your body using the big draw magnifies any emotions that you happen to be feeling.

The first step is to use the big muscles of the pelvic area to draw and pump the energy upwards. Eventually you can do this just by simply turning your attention to your head and drawing the energy up by means of mental intention alone. When you can do this, you’ll feel an invigorating streak of energy rising up your spine.

Video – Tantric Sex

But to begin with, you may need to practice for a while before you feel any effects from drawing the energy up. The big draw works on the same principle as a water pump, that is to say, by pumping your muscles you create pressure and suction to move the energy along your spine. You do it when you have a full erection, and also whilst you’re aroused, but you must do it about a minute before you would otherwise ejaculate. Clearly, it’s necessary to be able to judge when you are going to ejaculate fairly accurately!

When you feel you are about a minute away from ejaculation, stop stimulating yourself, and then after a moment’s pause, contract your PC muscle and clamp your toes down on the floor. (If you do have difficulty with delayed ejaculation, read this book. It explains how to deal with the issue of not being able to reach orgasm or ejaculate during sex.) Inhale while squeezing your buttocks slightly, until your sexual energy moves toward your spine. Now contract the muscles from your anus up to your spine in waves, each time you do this taking a short inhalation.

You’ll feel the energy eventually moving up your spine to your head: this is the completion of one big draw. The state of your erection measures how successful you’ve been at this technique. This is because as the energy is drawn out of the genital area and up towards the head, your erection should decrease.

You repeat this nine times, using visualization to imagine the sexual energy rising up your brain. Don’t leave it there! You can then allow the energy to flow down the front channel from your brain via your third eye, throat, heart, solar plexus and finally to your navel where you may wish to store it. 

how to please a woman

Sexual Problems Include Delayed Ejaculation

Delayed, or retarded, ejaculation means you can’t reach orgasm easily during sex or masturbation.

This may happen with only one particular sexual partner or it may happen with every partner; it may happen occasionally or it may happen all the time; and it may happen when you masturbate, or when you have sex, or both.

You may wonder what the heck is going on. You may be resigned to the situation.

If you’re  man who has difficulty reaching orgasm during sex,  you might be surprised to find that you’re not alone – far from it, in fact.

Problems with male ejaculation are much more common than people imagine. At any time, more than one man in twelve will be experiencing delayed ejaculation!

This means that millions of men around the world have difficulty reaching orgasm or ejaculating during sex – for example, about 8 million men in the USA alone will have problems reaching orgasm during sex.

And very few of these men – less than one in a hundred – will seek help.

In a way, that’s not surprising. Not being able to ejaculate during sex (or masturbation), or only being able to ejaculate occasionally, or with great difficulty, might seem like a strange problem to many people, especially when so many men have difficulty stopping their ejaculation from occurring too soon.

So let’s think about sex for a minute, about all the things we men are supposed to achieve during sex.

We’re expected to initiate and lead during lovemaking, we’re supposed to know how to make sex good for both ourselves and our partners, we’re expected to hold back on our own pleasure and delay our ejaculation until our partner is satisfied, and lots more besides…. but what a pain in the ass some of this can be!

With all those expectations, there’s no surprise men develop ejaculation problems. If only you could just let go and please yourself without having to worry about a partner, it might even be possible to reach orgasm and ejaculate when you choose to!

Delayed Ejaculation Is A Common Sexual Problem Among Men

Until recently, delayed ejaculation hasn’t been very well known and it’s certainly not received much attention, despite the trouble it can cause.

Amazing, isn’t it? In fact, delayed ejaculation is the third most common sexual problem for men after premature ejaculation and erection problems.

If only you could just let go and please yourself without having to worry about a partner, it might even be possible to reach orgasm and ejaculate when you choose to!

Even if you accept things the way they are, you might feel  depressed, or angry, or anxious, or some other negative feeling about what’s going on for you right now.

And while you probably know that delayed ejaculation can adversely affect your relationship and hit your self-esteem, you probably don’t know what to do about it. You may not even know that a cure is available. 

What’s more, if your partner has started to express her feelings about your delay in reaching orgasm, you’re probably feeling under even more pressure – especially if she’s accusing you of not being attracted to her.

Whatever she’s saying, your partner’s probably talking from an emotional place: one of disappointment, frustration, or even anger.

And that means she’s missing the fact that men with ejaculation problems are among the most conscientious of lovers and generally really care about the fact that they cannot reach orgasm during sex with their partner….. and usually not for the want of trying, either…. as you most likely know only too well!

And although it causes lots of challenges for men in so many ways, it’s hardly mentioned by anyone. I mean, when was the last time you discussed this with a buddy?

What you really need to know right now is that no matter what your difficulty reaching orgasm,this problem is normal!

 

By the way, ‘normal’ means you get to choose when to ejaculate during your lovemaking.

And here’s the best thing: based on feedback from men who buy my treatment program, it has an amazing 96% success rate.

But What On Earth Causes These Problems?

Let’s back up a bit here before we go any further.

Delayed ejaculation happens for many reasons…..

First, not ejaculating during sex can be something you learned earlier in life.

Not that you ever had any actual lessons in this… it’s just one way for your body and mind to protect themselves after a bad experience.

So, if something went wrong during sex sometime, the experience may have left its mark as your difficulty with ejaculation. Perhaps you lost your erection, your partner shamed you in some way, you just felt hopelessly inadequate…. whatever…. but next time you had sex, maybe you found it didn’t work.

Maybe there was no erection. No desire. No ‘connection’ with sex. No ejaculation. Who knows?

And of course, when that lack of desire/erection/ejaculation has happened once, it can happen again and again and again, and before you know it – there’s not an ejaculation in sight!

But fortunately, when delayed ejaculation develops after this kind of experience, it’s easy to cure.

Sometimes things from further back, in childhood, can cause sexual problems later in life. A boy’s relationship with his mother is right at the top of that list! if she’s not accepting of his developing sexuality, or worse, things can go wrong.

Happily, with the right approach you can flush these things out of your system for ever.

Next, delayed ejaculation can have a lot to do with the way a boy learns to masturbate.

Some boys masturbate quickly and secretively, usually because they either feel guilty, or because they can’t get much privacy, or they’re concerned about someone watching or even interrupting them during their self-pleasuring.

Of course, masturbation is simply that: self-pleasuring. Just as sex should be….at least some of the time. Some of the time it’s about pleasing another person.

In situations like this, masturbation can become quick and secretive, so much so that oftentimes a teenager won’t even touch his penis. Instead, he’ll masturbate by thrusting his penis against the mattress.

Problem is, this kind of harsh masturbation technique desensitizes the body’s response to sexual stimulation.

So, as a man, he needs to use much more force and pressure to get himself to the point of ejaculation than if he’d masturbated more gently when he was a boy.

And the harsh grip and fast movement are what his penis will then respond to…. in other words, he will have trouble ejaculating if he does not receive similar stimulation in the future.

But during sex, the sensations of intercourse aren’t anywhere near forceful enough to produce the stimulation the man needs to get to ‘the point of no return’ – that’s the level of sexual arousal where ejaculation is inevitable.

Think of it as the point where you know you’re going to come, and nothing will stop it happening. As a man with delayed ejaculation, you may not be too familiar with this….

To summarize: if you need very hard or prolonged stimulation before you can ejaculate, normal sexual intercourse won’t do it for you.

Next – the problem of low sexual arousal.

Most men with delayed ejaculation get an erection very quickly – and it’s often a long-lasting, hard erection. Yet although they appear to be aroused and sexually excited, appearances can be deceptive.

Believe it or not, this erection, no matter how long-lasting, does not necessarily mean that a man’s aroused enough to enjoy intercourse or to arrive at the point of ejaculation.

I know that may seem hard to believe.

After all, having an erection surely means a man is ready, willing and able to have sex?

Oddly, no, it doesn’t….. because even though you can have an erection hard enough for sex, you may not be sufficiently aroused in mind and body to reach the point of ejaculation.

In short, if you’re experiencing delayed ejaculation, the chances are that you need some simple techniques to increase your level of sexual arousal so that you find sex more exciting.

That way, you can gradually develop more and more arousal as sex goes on, and at a certain point you’ll be aroused enough to ejaculate easily – and very enjoyably!

Relationship Issues Have A Role To Play

Relationship issues – how you get on with your partner – can be a major factor in delayed ejaculation.

As proof of this, look no further than the fact that a man with delayed ejaculation can often come quicker and easier with a woman who’s not his partner, someone outside his main relationship.

So is a low level of sexual arousal the result of a lack of attraction to a partner? Or is it the other way around? How would you know? Difficult, isn’t it? Certainly, a lack of sexual attraction can be the result of a poor sexual relationship.

Simple truth is, there are many ways you can make your relationship more rewarding and closer: it’s all about becoming more intimate, communicating more, and understanding each other better.

As you work on delayed ejaculation, you may uncover some unpleasant truths. (Like: how do you really feel about your partner?)

Maybe the status quo will be overturned. But is that such a bad thing? Keeping your relationship real is better for everyone, both short and long term.

Naturally, you also need to look at your sexual desires and drives, and explore the ways you can improve the quality of sex…… and what you can do, for example, to feel more connected and intimate with your partner.

how to please a woman

Keeping Your Woman Happy

If you’re a man in a relationship with a woman, one thing you’re certain to have noticed is that she needs constant reassurance.

Video – How to Ask For Reassurance Without Blame

It doesn’t matter that you reassured her yesterday about some aspect of her appearance, or the shape of her body, or the size of her breasts, or whether she’s doing OK at work, or whether the relationship is going well, or whether you loved her … strangely enough, she needs the same reassurance today.

Why is that? What is that about, and why is it so frustrating for men, who think that when they’ve reassured their partner about something, that should be the end of the matter and she “shouldn’t” need further reassurance?

And how does this fit into the overall scheme of pleasuring a woman? What, in short, pleases a woman most?

The first aspect of this problem is that in general women’s self-esteem is very fragile.

Women are programmed from a very early age to judge their worth by how they look, by external standards imposed by the media and the fashion industry. It’s a very painful situation to be in.

If you think about it, there’s a parallel with the adolescent boys in the locker room at school, where physical development is an all-important symbol of how masculine you are and how much respect you get from other boys. You can read more about men and this issue here and here.

How a woman looks, specifically around her weight, determines how much respect she gets from both men and women.

You might think that’s sad, you might think it’s tragic, but the reality is that women’s self-esteem is very dependent on reassurance from the world around them, and especially from the men with whom they are in relationship. Getting your favorable opinion pleases your woman more than just about anything (except perhaps you taking the time and trouble to pleasure her in bed).

A man who really knows how to please a woman is able to see the need for reassurance and deal with it whole-heartedly and empathically.

No matter how much men may judge women, one harsh reality is that they are unquestionably judging themselves much more harshly. In this respect it’s certainly true that women do themselves no favors, by admiring the qualities of other women, and even expressing this (e.g.: “I’d give anything to have your complexion.”)

That’s demeaning to women in general and to the individual who says it in particular, and it’s no way for a woman to build up her self-esteem and establish true independence.

And, having said that, there is some truth in the assertion that women like to look good for men. Over and over again, men express a desire for good looks in a woman.

Even if they claim that they don’t particularly want to be with a very good-looking woman, they still have an aesthetic appreciation of a woman’s appearance, and it undoubtedly determines who they want to be seen with in some way. In fact, it is very pleasing and satisfying for a man to be with a woman who is making an effort to appear smart and sexy. (Of course, she’d like you to do the same thing.) 

Video – the difference between men and women

Men contribute to women’s insecurity around body fat, too. Men often make remarks about a woman’s weight; mostly, they don’t like their partner to put weight on, and they aren’t always sensitive about the way they express this preference. Yet when you talk to women you begin to realize that it really is very hard indeed for them to exert control over their body weight: certainly it’s much harder for them than it is for a man.

And this insecurity just goes on and on and on — she talks about getting old, about her weight, her body shape, her looks, her dress sense, whether any or all of this pleases you or not. It seems this insecurity is based on her need to feel wanted, her need to feel appreciated and desired — and, or course, the fear of not being wanted, desired or appreciated.

Whatever you think about this it’s easy enough for you, as a man, to offer a degree of reassurance that costs you nothing but makes a real difference to your partner.

If you think it’s not up to you to boost her self-esteem, to please her, then there might be some serious questions to be asked about the health of your relationship. You see, pleasing a woman goes well beyond the bedroom and how you treat her in there. Pleasing a woman is about how you treat her in the entire relationship.

Nowhere is female and male insecurity clearer for a man than when it comes to dealing with a strong, capable, independent woman, often one who has a successful career in business. Many men see the conquest of a woman like this as a challenge. But this type of woman tends to need a man who is equal to herself and who doesn’t feel threatened by a strong woman.

Independence, after all, should mean that you don’t need to rely on somebody else for your sense of well-being. So, if you’re intimidated by successful women, the only hope of you having a successful relationship with one is to find a healthy way of relating to her…. of pleasing her without giving away yourself too much (or indeed at all).

And this means finding a way of making your needs for emotional and physical satisfaction complementary, rather than fulfilling the simple equation of helpless, needy woman making up to a strong protector and provider.

Simple Answers To Difficult Questions

When she asks you if she looks fat, or or if her “ass looks big in this” (or similar “trick” questions), be aware of what’s actually underneath the question.

You might tell her that, actually, it’s the fat on her ass that makes her ass look big, not the clothes she’s wearing. But that probably won’t help either of you much. It certainly won’t please her very much!

If she asks you to choose one pair of shoes from two, and you do, she may then ask you if you don’t like the other pair, leaving you feeling like every other man who’s been in this situation — that you’re beating your head against a brick wall to no avail.

Why does she do this kind of thing? In simple terms, she asks you a question, you answer, she doesn’t believe your answer, so she goes on asking further questions to test you. This pattern is unhelpful, indeed it’s actually quite destructive of trust, and it’s a very unhealthy compulsion.

When a woman won’t accept a man’s answer to her question and goes on trying to get him to say what she really wants to hear, it’s likely that her low self-esteem may be getting in the way of reality.

Of course it’s the fat that makes her look fat. Of course it’s the lines on her face that make her look old. That’s what she believes, and that’s what she expects to hear, no matter how much you reassure her.

But what’s even worse is when she’s actually quite slim, or she has no lines on her face. When it’s all in her mind, this tends to develop into a situation where you really can’t win. What, you may well wonder, will really please her in this situation?

The first thing you have to do here is decide whether she wants a true answer or she wants reassurance. If she wants a true answer, than making some observation that implies you’ve actually thought about what you’re saying can be helpful: for example, you can give the reasons why you like her shoes or her dress or her haircut.

Simply saying you don’t know will sound like you don’t care, or give her a blank canvas on which to paint all kinds of negativity. To please a woman, you need to give her a better answer.

And a better answer combines reassurance and information. So for example: “You don’t look fat; in fact you look very sexy when you wear those clothes because they show off your breasts to perfection.”

You see, what I mean when I say knowing how to please a woman is an art, not a science?

Just Leave Me Alone, Godammit!

“Is something wrong?” The question every man dreads. Find out more about it here.

Even as I wrote that I could feel myself groaning internally! That horrible question. It pops up when you’re just pondering something and you don’t wish to share it with her. Next, she starts asking “What are you thinking about? You’re very quiet. Is everything all right?” You see, she thinks she can please you by doing what she would expect someone to do for her…. have a conversation about her problems. Yes, men want to think about things, and women want to talk about them. An eternal difference!

This kind of paranoia can drive a man up the wall. And even when you tell her nothing is wrong, she won’t leave it alone! What the hell is this behavior about?

It’s about her insecurity. It’s about the fact that she thinks you’re reflecting on the state of your relationship, and because you won’t tell her, she’s done something wrong.

The only way to deal with this effectively is to answer honestly: “Yes, I have a problem at work, and I’m thinking it through, and it doesn’t involve you.”  That’s much more reassuring than simply saying nothing is wrong and walking out of the room.

The problem, of course, is that she’s assuming you’re thinking about something she’s done or said that’s bothering you – and that’s a threat to her security. So once again, reassurance is what’s required.

And at this point, if you’re wondering why you’re in a relationship when it seems so challenging and difficult, just remember the benefits: there’s no greater source of support, affection, love, fun, and regular sex than in an intimate relationship with another human being. When it’s going well, that is.