Can you handle a sexually dominant and “forward” woman? You might think so, but reports from women suggest that there are still a heck of a lot of men who find it challenging when a woman takes the sexual initiative.
Why should this be so? The double standard runs deep in all of us: men tend to think how great it would be to have sex with a woman on the first date, but if she gives herself to us, some people think of her as “easy” or a slut.
Yet, I can assure you that women do not think of men in the same way if they seduce a man into sex on the first date, which seems hypocritical.
It’s called the double standard
Here’s one aspect of it….
Here’s a more considered viewpoint….
Men, it is clearly ridiculous that we still seem to think that a woman who wants to sleep with a man on the first date is a slut, whereas a man who sleeps with a woman on the first day is a stud.
And anyway, you’ll respect the woman you’re seeing more if you wait a little while until you’re physically intimate (on average men expect to have sex with a new partner for the first time on the third, fourth or fifth date).
For everybody’s sake, drop this double standard right now, and wait until you’ve been seeing a woman awhile before you have sex with her.
And another double standard which you can drop is the belief that women divide into two camps: the sexually active woman, and the “nice girl”.
Needless to say of course, the former is the legendary good time girl, and the latter is the Madonna, the mother figure, the asexual good wife and mom in society. Just change your thinking, men, and recognize that these two stereotypes are not incompatible and they can occur in the same woman.
The truth is that inside most women is a very sexual creature waiting to get out…. a women is a sexual being who is probably more sexually active and imaginative than a man….. and probably has more sexual energy, more desire to please in bed, and certainly greater knowledge of how to pleasure a man than most men ever begin to understand…..
Furthermore, if it’s all right for a man to have a sexually active past, it’s all right for a woman! This is, in the most human analysis, just about knowing how to pleasure your partner in a natural way.
You might want to marry a virgin, you might even want to go out on a date with a virgin, but you’re not likely to find many around these days.
Sociobiologists explain the fact that a man subconsciously wants a woman with a non-sexual history as being a deep animal motivation about knowing he’s the male that’s fathering her children, and being sure no other male’s been in there before he has.
Well, that might or might not be true, but it doesn’t alter the fact that we are men with the conscious ability to overcome these prejudices and double standards no matter where they originate.
Wise up guys: you can be sexual, she can be sexual. It isn’t a big deal. Or is it?
If you’re a man who’s threatened by a sexually dominant woman, one who knows fully how to take her pleasure from physical intimacy, then two things are likely to happen: you’re likely to search out women who tend to the passive side, and you’re probably going to be somewhat insecure if you do happen to get into bed with a woman who turns out to be a sexual tiger.
Of course, most men think this will be exciting, and they are right – but it is also intimidating, and can frighten a man if he is not sexually confident.
For the sexually confident man, nothing is scary – not female orgasm, not female ejaculation, not screaming female orgasms…. and not sexual exploration with a dominant woman!
If you think your current girl might be one of those, that’s even more reason to delay having sex until you know the woman as a friend, and you’ve established a little bit of emotional intimacy to support you through your first encounter in bed.
The bottom line: don’t question how many lovers she’s had, at least not until you know her quite well. Develop trust so that you can discuss these matters with her from your heart without making judgments about her.
Just get over the fact that she had a life with other men before she met you.
Above all, don’t question her morality, just as you wouldn’t expect her to question yours. The double standard is outdated, inappropriate, and unhelpful.
Pleasing a Partner and Pleasing Yourself
For some men, the issue of being in bed with a dominant woman has deeper implications — to put it bluntly, they can’t get it up when it matters.
To think that a man can be so threatened by a woman’s sexuality as to be unable to get an erection is quite shocking.
But I can assure you from my work with men that it’s quite common. And you know what? It isn’t even your fault if this happens to you: it’s the product of what you’ve learned about the roles of men and women in society, in relationship, and particularly in the bedroom.
However, it is your responsibility to do something about it. A man without an erection needs to get it back for the sake of his self-esteem.
The first thing is to accept that a woman can be just as sexual as a man, that she needs sex just as much as you do, and that she is capable of enjoying it just as much as you do.
It’s not fair to see women as being less sexual than men: sometimes that’s true, sometimes it isn’t.
What’s more often true is that women hide their sexuality, or may not even be aware of it themselves, because society has taught them that good girls don’t feel sexual.
The next thing you can do is lie back and enjoy it! If you find that difficult then there’s plenty of advice on the page about how to pleasure a woman.