It’s a shocking statistic, but if you look into the facts it’s true: at the most, 25% of women reach orgasm during intercourse.
And the great majority don’t have any orgasms during intercourse at all.
Now one of the things that most men love to try in bed (and indeed aspire to) is the concept of bringing a woman to orgasm by means of vaginal intercourse.
Of course this is what guys like in bed, but they rarely ask whether it’s what women want in bed! And the truth is that what matters to men and women can be very different.
Video – How To Please
It seems to be much harder for a woman to reach orgasm than it is for a man. Statistical analysis of couples’ sex lives has demonstrated over and over again that 90% plus of men reach orgasm every time during sex, while only 46% of women will do so.
This is a shocking statistic, because it implies that many men are simply not bothering to find out what women really want in bed.
Of course this is not helped by the fact the women fake orgasms – a slightly surprising statistic is that while 85% of men think a woman has reached orgasm during their sexual encounters, the truth is that only 58% of women say they have reached orgasm.
There is only one possible conclusion here: women are faking orgasms to try and please a guy in bed.
But on the other hand, what this means is that the men involved have never bothered to find out how to please a woman or to satisfy her in bed!
This is truly shocking – that we should have such a situation in 2016 defies belief….. although in some ways it might not be that surprising.
We are faced with images of intercourse on porn sites all the time, where men thrust hard into women, and women are shown screaming and moaning in response.
But in reality, life isn’t like that. Research has shown that there is a definite correlation between the duration of sexual interplay between a man and a woman, and the chance of her reaching orgasm.
In other words, the longer the foreplay, or if you prefer to call it thus, “sex play”, goes on, the more likelihood there is of a woman reaching orgasm.
In fact it takes on average 15 minutes of intercourse for a woman to reach orgasm (and that’s if she’s going to get there at all), whereas the average length of intercourse for all couples is 5.4 minutes. (Intercourse usually stops when the man ejaculates.)
The duration of intercourse that satisfies a woman, the duration which women describe as “ideal”, is between 10 and 13 minutes.
Men are falling short in every department here, and essentially there are two reasons why: women are not explaining what how they want men to please them in bed, and men are failing to find out how to satisfy a woman.
If you want to know how to please your girl, the only thing to do is to really take this seriously and make the effort to become an expert lover.
Of course intercourse is delightful for men, and indeed is central to our experience of sex. It gives us great pleasure, and of course it’s great fun – providing that you don’t enter your woman before she is ready and assuming there is plenty of lubrication of one kind or another.
And, yes, intercourse can be satisfying to a woman whether she reaches orgasm or not, because it makes two lovers feel profoundly connected on physical and emotional levels.
But for a woman, it’s probably true to say intercourse is not the most essential element of making love or enjoying sex together.
It’s perfectly normal, indeed commonplace , for women not to have orgasms during intercourse. The reason why women don’t experience orgasm and satisfaction during intercourse is simple: clitoral stimulation is necessary for most women to experience an orgasm and yet, because the clitoris is located above the vagina, it receives very little stimulation during intercourse (unless a couple make special efforts to play with it).
Hence – no orgasm for a woman. (Unless she can reach orgasm through vaginal stimulation alone.)
Intercourse is simply not an efficient way of stimulating the clitoris to the point where a woman can have an orgasm.
Bear in mind also that the factors we men think of as important in bringing a woman to orgasm are mostly a complete irrelevance!
For example, a lot of men think penis size is an important aspect of women’s sexual satisfaction. But the truth is that only a very small number of women reach orgasm during intercourse and so penis size must have very little to do with pleasuring a woman.
What matters more in pleasuring a woman is stimulating her clitoris using either your fingers, your hand, your tongue, or indeed sex toys.
Of course any or all of that can happen during intercourse, and there’s nothing to stop you combining different forms of stimulation to give her pleasure.
The other interesting thing about this statistic is that lasting a long time during sexual intercourse might not be as important as we’ve all come to think it is.
If your woman isn’t going to actually reach orgasm, regardless of how long intercourse lasts, then you might well do to find out other ways of bringing her to orgasm, rather than focusing your attention on extending the duration of vaginal intercourse.
Another simple straightforward fact is that most men find controlling their orgasm difficult, and although there are plenty of websites on the Internet which seem to imply that it’s easy to control premature ejaculation, in reality it can be quite a challenge for a man to learn how to last longer in bed.
What all this amounts to is that because so few women reach orgasm during intercourse, sex without intercourse is actually perfectly fine. Indeed it’s probably a very good way of pleasing a lot of women.
I certainly understand that many men will feel disappointed if intercourse isn’t regularly on the agenda.
But since most women are willing and happy to provide it for their partners, the quid pro quo for this seems to be that you, as a man, need to take responsibility for finding the best ways to please a woman in bed and bring her to orgasm so that she is enjoying sexual satisfaction.